my 3months co-habitant boyfriend just recently asked to open a joint savings together…. weve been together 2 years and recently decided to live together… i think being joint financially is too early, but what are the reasons hes asking?
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8 Comments
2 years and 3 months you’ve been together and you think it’s too soon.
I think you should revise your defacto relationship. Either you continue on as a defacto couple, including a joint account which makes sense for all couples, or you move on and find someone with whom you can be serious.
Opening a joint bank account with a partner does not mean that you cannot have your own personal, savings account.
Are you afraid of an account or of further commitment?
- Pepper.
His reasons may be totally innocent, and he just thinks it’d be a good idea since you are (assumably) sharing living expenses. He may be thinking ahead to a possible marriage. But, it may be not so innocent. I wouldn’t open a joint account with anyone until you are married for your own protection. It’s so easy to spend more than you yourself put in and then you end up fighting over the other spending money they didn’t deposit.
Ask him if he wants to do this so that there is an account just for rent, utilities, or other household expenses. If that’s the case, maybe you two should open an account that is only for those things and only money is put in it to cover those things, and the rest is in separate accounts so you don’t spend each other’s money.
Maybe he wants to save for a trip/vacation/new furniture/bigger apartment,- the possibilities are endless, so you’d have to ask him.
If you live together, which is pretty darn intimate, well, do you have trust issues? Savings accounts and checking accounts are two different things so you wouldn’t really be “joint finiancially” if you are saving only for things that you wish to purchase together. It’s not like you’d be affecting each other’s credit line or anything.
Red flag warning!
It is too early. Unless the two of you have decided on a set amount for each to deposit each week, and that the account should be used ONLY for necessary expenses (rent, meals, utilities, etc). Maybe a trial run with a joint checking account first might be better.
You should only agree to this if the above conditions are met, and he holds up his end of the deal by depositing the agreed upon amount each time. He may be a good and decent guy, but better safe than sorry. Keep your money to yourself for right now.
There’s nothing actually wrong with this as such, but if you feel it is too early in the relationship then you should tell him that now.
But what you could do if you feel a bit distrustful of having a joint account, is to keep your own accounts separate and just have a joint one for the rent/mortgage, grocery shopping and utility bills, then you still have your own money, but you have joint money too for the house.
I’ve been with my man for over 20 years and we still do this – it’s nice to have a bit of independence I think, although some would disagree – it works fine for us.
It sounds like you have some reservations about it. If you have any doubts whatsoever, do not do it. Wait until the time is right. One of the biggest wedges that comes between couples is finances and TRUST. Thread carefully.
If you make more than him or have more money saved than him DON’T DO IT. I can’t believe how many women lose there money over trusting their boyfriends.
Dont do it
trust me !